We all know “That Chick” {or maybe you are her} that feels the need to speak out every time someone shares a story--whether it be about a promotion at work, a loving relationship, or just the thrills of life in general--her response makes it seem like she’s “That Bitch”, “Top-Notch Diva Extraordinaire”, “All-Mighty Soul Sistah #1” {Yea, you know, “That Bitch”}.
For instance, if you’re talking about your Honey and how he wined and dined you on Valentine’s Day with dinner, a movie and lovely roses; and she chimes in, “Gurl, we’re not tiny boppers. Save that for the kids. My man got long stem roses delivered to my job and we went{insert name of expensive restaurant that she can’t even pronounce}, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah” Leaving you to think, “Did she just do that to make me jealous?” And have you start questioning your man as if he did something wrong.
As women why do we enter ourselves into “Crazy Competitions” with each other? It’s like we’re in some ego-driven race, struggling to catch up with one another’s lifestyle. Most of the time the life she tells you she’s leading is not her reality and the pressure is on her to create a pretty picture to hide her insecurities. Most women who you associate yourself with regularly only want what you got and since they cannot be you, they imagine themselves as being better than you.
With the barriers and stereotypes that are still placed upon the shoulders of women today to weigh us down: in society, the home, and the work place--women should unite like the Justice League to uplift and support one another; not only in times of trials, tribulations and sorrows but also in times of victory and triumph.
Competition is defined as the act of competing; Rivalry for supremacy, a prize. A prize? What exactly is the prize in this crazy competition? Self-doubt? Lack of confidence? Wavering courage to be unique? Does one compete just to say I am better or I had it first? What do you gain once you get to the “top spot”? It’s lonely on the throne without a team to back you {preferably girlfriends who understand your frustrations and can relate to the sensitivity of your emotions}.
The art of competition is human nature. Men show off in sports—they validate themselves with a win as it reflects their dominating physical stamina over a fellow man. We “Independent, I don’t need anybody to pay my bills, It’s all about me” women of today take the materialistic approach to validate ourselves. We have to be seen in top-of-the-line shoes, freshly cut and shaped $500 weaves, and handbags that cost enough to pay our rent for the next 6 months. We go as far as to post pictures with our expensive goods on social media sites for our friends to drool over, in hopes that there response to our pricey merchandise will be, “I want one too.”
We do the same in relationships. All of us are guilty of dropping the line, “My boyfriend looks better than hers,” for no good reason. Just another way to say, “You’re man is hot Bitch, but mines is on fire.”
We’re all guilty of checking out the girlfriend that came before us that our man was seen posted up with on Facebook and checking that same page for the girl who came after us that he’s now posing with—only to say, “I look way better than them.” Or “He lost me now he got to get with a troll.”
We all can admit we step our game up a notch at work with our “Do It Myself” attitudes—because we’d rather take all the credit than see the next girl shine. Just to show the rest of the office that we can handle our own business.
Since we’re all guilty of these types of behaviors, doesn’t it mean our logic is more similar to “the next chick” than we thought? There’s no need to have a “crabs in a barrel” mentality when we’re all trying to make it to the top—why not help each other up the ladder instead of trying to pull each other down with our silly competitions. As women, we have a natural ambition to want to REIGN SUPREME, but we don’t have to meticulously eliminate one another to get there.
Besides, your frustrations shouldn’t be targeted at the woman in the cubical across from yours who is just trying to keep her head above water as you are, but to The Man who just got a promotion and thinks he’s “Mr. Big” because he beat you out of it. So the next time you want to throw shade at someone-straighten those long legs and strut pass his office in your $400 stilettos. Let him stare as you smile thinking, “You may have the big office, but you’ll never get none of my goods.”
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